Why?

This had to be done... There aren't enough cynics around

My Happy Valentine

He Says:

And it is back folks! The day every single dude, every nice guy that ever got friendzoned looks at his friend trying to get that last useless sponge toy which everyone with an IQ over 24 knows is as pointless as David Moyes’ substitutions… While we see our friends who are ‘allegedly in a “happy” relationship’ pin for her and croon god-awful renditions of sway (“when marimbo rhythm starts to play”), we are secretly happy that you don’t have to spend 59,999 only to dance with her and make her stay-let alone sway…

Having done nothing on D-Day for the past 23 years, this time won’t be any different, despite the alleged axe effect (the word ‘allegedly’ might appear more mainly because of my recent stint as a casualty medical officer). But I know a few dudes with plans and every time I hear those ‘romantic’ ideas, I want to go to the nearest roof-top restaurant offering the ‘romantic view of Pondicherry’(which by the way doesn’t exist- you either see it or you get knocked over by a drunk rider), and jump right off thereby closing their money thieving scheme.

Seriously, you have got to love her every single second (remember? For better or for worse?), or make way for that dude in the zone who knows that she definitely doesn’t need a bedazzled purse- I mean who in their right mind does? Chocolates will make her fat and the next time you get her a dress in your or your dad’s money, she will ask you “the question” and you will land in an actual awkward position (unlike those “that awkward mo’ memes”)… And liars rot in hell… not that you aren’t already in  one…

More than being a cynical dude whose perennial single status has made him bitter to the atrocities in the name of love, there is a genuine concern- not like that old dude that appears on TV and lashes out pseudo medical gibberish and rants how In Vitro Fertilization is against Tamil Culture… You see, instead of pissing other people with your public displays of affection why don’t you for a change do something fruitful? Like not pissing other people like posting 'cute' pictures of you both having coffee to a heartish background and tagging the single folks hoping we would appreciate that you landed an "alleged hottie"?

Valentine’s day, like most other day is a manufacturer’s idea of romancing more money… And if you are with a girl that appreciates you for what you are and for what you do for her every day and stands by you in your toughest time, you are living the ultimate dream… Hold on to her for every other V-Day that comes along… But if you are stuck with someone what wants a chocolate stuffed teddy for 14th and a 7000 buck shoe for Schumacher’s birthday, make sure your next V day is a better day… As for me, I sincerely hope someone, somewhere develops Acute Appendicitis-thereby cheering up a lonely surgery resident

She Says

Valentine’s day…? Awww….

***

P.S: Post 99 had to be bitter, or a reminiscent post on the previous 98… so, we cool?

7 comments:

Karen Xavier said...

Acute Appendicitis... funny guy, how you haven't found a girl with your sense of humour is beyond me....
But all that stuff about Facebook, so true... especially the teenagers, every teeny tiny feeling they have to display it, saying stuff like 'osum!' for anything and everything...

Sai Sriram said...

I know... quite the mystery... And I sincerely wish all these kewl skewl going kids get a strict English teacher or at least one that teaches them proper English

siva said...

LOL. Sai - u havent found that girl yet?? :-P ;-)

Sai Sriram said...

Athulla enna boss ungalukku doubtu? the hunt is still on

Manoj Kumar said...

And the hunt is actually a pseudo hunt isn't it sai?

Sai Sriram said...

Namakku ellame "Meta" than Ji

Krithika R said...

I totally agree the consumerism part of the heavily advertised day. Splurging is good for the soul from time to time :p it doesn't need to be attached to one day.