Why?

This had to be done... There aren't enough cynics around

Practical Exams

                Recently, there was this young dude that came with so much pain and when we offered to cut off that vestigial remnant which was the source of his discomfort, he refused to undergo surgery telling that the 3 day rest would mean he missed his physics practical examination... Sensationally enough his parents were with him on this...They seemed to think that that exam was all that stood between their son and the elusive DM (cardio) degree. Obviously, without the consent, we went the Scandinavian way and on the second day, he developed full blown peritonitis and instead of a few stabs or a single centimetre incision, he is now recuperating with a bigger scar.

                Nope, the point of this post is not to reiterate the fact that you judge the decision of a set of guys (and women excluding OGcians- on occasions) who spend decades reading and re learning, but to show how much of a biggie these exams have become. Although pretty much clouded by blood, I still remember those devilish days in the past... Trivial things seemed to matter and I was naive enough to think 12th was the biggest arena there was... Four months of Physiology meant everything mentioned in my 12th biology book was as reliable as Congress’ election manifesto. There were some guides- the names I aint sure of, but boy, they were the Mallika Sherawat of the syllabus- you want just that in a 2.5 hr long boring drab and it was all that mattered...

                There was a picture the teachers would paint- so rosy that you would think you were in one of Van Gogh’s paintings... But the reality was sadly far from that... Within 2 months I learned that only TV doctors wore coat always (and the women in my hospital, I know, it is sexist) and talking to the patient well, rather than knowing the components of Deliteywoq Syndrome, made you a successful doctor. And the struggle actually begins once you clear your final exams and from then on, every step towards that elusive ‘summit’ degree would mean pain and sacrifice and pain. Nowhere in that uncertain tortuous path would you use the Heisenberg’s principle (the guy who knocks).

                Now that almost a decade has passed since I last balanced the electrons in an equation, that I have not made Hydrochloric acid from Zinc still pains me. I don’t think companies are looking to hire people who can reproduce their q3 report word to word, space to space, comma to comma, spelling mistake to spelling mistake, I think I can safely assume that scoring 200 in the rote test counts for nothing. Maybe our schools should focus more on skills that might actually mean something to the kids when they are out to face the big bad world. But then, as a guy who thought Padayappa should have ended up with Neelambari to make kids that could rule the universe, who am I to judge.


                Trying my best not to do my “told you so dance” in front of him, I asked him if he was comfortable (without the slightest hint of sarcasm) having taken soft food... He was trying to cram some circuit pictures and responded to the look on my face... “Electromagnetism Sir... Very tough, no?” I had no idea. I mean, 12th was almost 2 world cups ago and I used to switch the TV off once Sachin was out... I gave a sheepish nod and left wondering when or where I would use Integral Calculus, that Goddamn Organic chemistry and its named equations or the truckload of stuff I thought would help me survive.

2 comments:

Karen Xavier said...

You'll have to teach your kids one day, all this stuff... so it will be useful then. Anyway, that's silly right... putting off the removal of the vestigial remnant, I hear the pains are awful... don't you just want to get it out...

Sai Sriram said...

Yeah, that would have also meant the kid would't need a little more difficult Surgery a little later, but then what is health when the prelims for the ugliest Rat Race is on?