This had to be done... There aren't enough cynics around

Poetic Justice

      There was a time in school when I would listen to “Poongatrile Un Swasathail” before leaving for an exam and firmly believed that my performance would be undone if I did not follow up with “Santhosha Kaneere” after the memory test. I was so into the former song that in one of my exams, I translated it into English for poetry writing. Apparently, without the melody, the lyrics did not strike a chord with the teacher, who never the less lauded my ‘attempt’ and gave the 'perfect score'.

      But my new found avatar as a poet was fraught with inexplicable complications. I was asked to pen a poem for an Assembly skit by my class… While I sincerely hoped I could somehow recycle Satrangi Re, I was not sure that even the tune deaf would miss the alluring 7 stages of Love. So after countless hours, I did the unspeakable-came up with an original. The theme was pollution-too bad. But it was not as bad as the poem I had penned. God, it was awful. Sadly, my teacher thought otherwise.

      I was supposed to recite it in front of 200 students. Just as I was gearing for embarrassment, possibly an ironic retribution for stealing a poor old girl’s metaphorical trophy with a plagiarized poem, a bacterial intervention saved me. Sore throat ensured that I would not recite the crap I had written. The downside though, was that a buddy of mine would take the fall instead. And what a fall indeed… 

“If there is no solution to pollution
The world would go into collision….”

      I shut my eyes and ears in embarrassment. Luckily, the audience stunned by the stupidity of the content, thought that it was an intentional parody. They laughed with it, not realizing they should be laughing at it. Although red with embarrassment, my friend went on and finished

“Something bad-something worse-something-tion
Something poor-something horrible-something-tion
Thank you”

      Just before I entered med school, I had a chance meeting with Fate. He wanted something from me for getting me into med school. He wanted me to stop penning poems. Why? I wondered aloud, was my gibberish going to alter the divine balance? Would they inspire a revolution? He declined to give me an answer. I agreed, reluctantly and as he was about to leave I asked:

“What if I meet the perfect girl in College? How can I woo her without a poem?”

      He laughed and left.

      I now realize that he never came to see me again was because he probably died laughing at my first question...

      Perfect girl?

      Odds are you might as well find a perfect poem, by me.


Shreya Sudesh said...

Nice post :) The first one of yours that I've ever read. I still listen to Anbil Avan's *seetha kalyanam* part before exams. Since XIIth grade that song damaged me (in a good way) I don't know."“If there is no solution to pollution
The world would go into collision…." sounds like Kuttan's interview answer in the beginning of Bangalore Daya hehe :)

Sai Sriram said...

Thanks :) These 'performance enhancers' give us that little boost needed to scale that additional 0.000002 cm... Those magical lyrics are the reason there is just one 'poem' here...