Why?

This had to be done... There aren't enough cynics around

Nine to Five

In medias res

                Finally they made the call. The auto screeched to a halt making the stagnant water drench an unwitting bystander. He got down and in his usual long, fast strides, reached the office in no time.
              
  They smiled, for the first time in 7 hours.


The Backstory
                Seinfeld says if you make fun of something you are a part of, it is not blasphemous. Take for instance Tim Whatley, he converted to Judaism for the jokes and offended the comic in Jerry and ultimately got Jerry the anti Dentite tag. So this post, while most of it is true (and the imagination part will be pretty obvious) and I had experienced it in First, second and third person perspective, is not meant to offend thge public servants and even if it does, given how I am now a government oppicer, shouldn’t draw flak. This starts with the UPSC recommending my name to the Health service folks here is Pondicherry after written tests and an interview.


The Macguffin
                Two months after the result, the letter finally came and sadly I was on duty. Thankfully, the rains had not yet reached a crescendo and ipso facto, the intimation letter did not need the all important sticker. The very next day a bunch of us set out to join the Government Medical Services. That was when we realized that the recruitment process extended beyond the interview. The ability to tackle patients was already tested. What would now be tested was our patience.

STEP 1: DOCUMENT VERIFICATION
                After a 2 hour wait, all the documents were subject to verification. Agreed, the UPSC had done the exact same thing. But that was in Hindi. After asking why my MBBS mark sheets did not have totals and a few questions Mr. Pichumani, the clerk in charge of whatever, put the all important pencil tick. 12 documents were verified in 27 minutes.

STEP 2: THE 5 HOUR LUNCH
                In the time they had lunch, a patient was subjected to Whipple’s procedure, came out, had grilled chicken and passed stools.

STEP 3: DOCUMENT VERIFICATION
                It was evening now and  Pichu’s senior oppicer was re verifying the documents. Why couldn’t she have done it in the first place, you might ask… What was the point of the 6 hours we had waited you might ask… But… red tapes are red… Eventually, after verifying a photocopy which was taken in their copier exactly 12.6 seconds back, we were given the key to the next round and  Pichu wasted no time in maintaining his version of “maanbumigu kaleeral kadavulin anaiku inanga veyil adithathu” by telling how we had made their madam oppicer wait for 3 extra minutes. Yeah… like our 7 lost hours were impertinent… It’s not like unlike her, we save lives… Oh wait…

STEP 4: THE MEDICAL FITNESS
                This was a piece of cake. After getting insulted by the blood sample collecting lady whose relative might one day lose his/her external sphincter, we were declared provisionally fit for employment. Just one letter before we became oppicers.

STEP 5: THE FINALE
                6 hours after waiting for the appointment order, 4 of which we spent looking at a flower vase, one of my friends suggested we make the call.


The Deus ex Machina The Climax
                He continued to the table where Pichumani was sitting. He placed his hands on the table and drew the clerk’s attention.

Ayya, en peru Manickam” <Sir, My name is Manickam>

“Ahaan” <Ahaan>

                With a little menace in his eyes, stylishly leaned in…

“Enakku innoru perum irukku” <I go by another name too>

                If you were expecting a rehashed Terminator theme to which Pichu started to sweat and hand my appointment order, you couldn’t have been farther off the mark.

“Okay… appadiye  Name change affidavit um Newspaper publish anathum antha Gazette notificationum kondu vanga. Ellathulayum 2 xerox copy kuduthutu poitu 3 masam kalichu vanga”
<Bring your Name change affidavit and Gazette notification with 2 photocopies of each. Give the fles and come back after 3 months>



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