This had to be done... There aren't enough cynics around

We Now Do Food Reviews.

                Twenty seven years ago, on one particularly hot night in the month of May, a child, who would later invent the double cheese burger, tuna sub and vaccines for ebola and hiv, was born and instantly the climate changed from summer to spring and there was a double rainbow with a unicorn dancing on top of it. In case you remember none of it, it is probably because of all the unhealthy food you have been eating. The anniversary of that extraordinary event came again, and had to be celebrated.

                We started out by making that poor kid try out some rightly fitting shirts, something he had not done for 17 years. After a successful buy, we went to the book shop. All he wanted was a bomma book. Wonderful... It is strongly believed that this kid is a member of a long lost supreme alien species that lived millennia together and by that standard, what we had was probably an infant and the behavior proved it. A pictorial retelling of Mr. RD’s short stories and a completely inappropriate book by a violent author which was for only those who were at least 198 years old were what we achieved here.

                It was time to celebrate the feats of strength. After the kid did exceptionally horrible at a dance game, the punching bag beckoned. You had to punch it so hard that the bag hit a sensor to give you randomly generated numbers that would satisfy the male ego. Our kid mistook the concept and directly tried to punch the sensor and succeeded to some extent. The sensor broke and could not show scores of over 150 till the sting from his punch wore out. Now we were all hungry and decided to eat at a recently opened Mexican restaurant called Chilli’s. 

                We had chicken wings as an appetizer and boy, was it unappetizing. Dry as a bone, it was truly a bone within the bone experience (all you med students, give me 5 cases where you see bone within bone…I start with Caffey’s disease). The onion rings were okay, mainly because I hate onions and the piece I had was devoid of the onion. The vegetarian dishes must have been fine but the chicken burger was ‘oh so okay ’-ish. The filling was dry and boring (My unrefined palate doesn’t know what it means, but this is the one word that comes closest to the experience), the toppings inadequate but the fires were pretty good. We had to ask for the bottomless coke the menu promised, so much for Mexican hospitality.

                I am not going to ramble about the décor or the big TV or the hot girl that sat in the opposite corner… We went there to eat and not gawk at the wall. If I wanted to sit in a beautiful room with a big screen, I could go to Sathyam Cinemas and probably get value for money in the food department too. The bill here was the only thing we took a photo of. The taxes alone were sufficient to feed a bigger gang better food, in a reasonable place. I am not complaining about the pricing (actually, I am) but if the food was good, I would gladly donate my left kidney for it, but here, it was borderline abysmal (no, that is not what it means Joey) and at best, average.

                If you think coming here for authentic Mexican food is a good idea, I suggest you start saving up. By the time you have enough for 2 outings here, go to Mexico, enjoy the authenticity and come back. It would cost less. Or, if you want only the petromax light, come to Pondy. We have a Chlli's too and it is wonderful.

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