This had to be done... There aren't enough cynics around

After the Floods- The Series Finale

And then there was one and nope, we aint answering why.

The Gangs of Namma Chennai by KL

This story, to start with came second in the running for the title of the most innovative name but sadly, much like CSK in every other IPL final, lost out to the Mumbai Indians of the Anthology. The hero immediately earns sympathy points for being from the USA, for, odds are, someday, he might get left at the altar for a total douchebag by the most beautiful girl you could ever imagine, but sadly, he loses the brownie earned by acting like the Amreeka Mapillai of Tamil movies by asking his parents to move with him. Then he spends time watching porn as Chennai drowns but eventually, gets tricked by Mia Khalifa to book a flight back home through Emirates Airways. From here on, the story is all about spreading positivity, like a hooker high on coke with HIV and HBsAg. I mean, every guy is such a nice person and if you asked them they would literally donate both their lungs and at least one kidney. The only thing missing is a pony/unicorn that farts rainbow- No- not the LGBT thingy. Not that anything’s wrong with that, but the last time a someone asked me how I viewed Lesbianism, they were so offended by the answer that we haven’t talked  ever since. Apparently, ‘in HD’ is not the right answer.

 Verdict: Abysmal is a strong word, but not stronger than the predictability and absurdity of a pony that farted rainbows…

The Rainmaker by JG SA

The only similarity between the two Rainmakers is that they quit after their one successful shot and fade into anonymity like Hrisshikesh Kanithkar. While Rudy got the girl, Varun gets to meet a different person in the end. The story borrows from the Mahabharat legend about the rain and gandiva and other stuff I have now long forgotten and we have the protagonist send arrows into the sky in the hope of poking it enough and cause it to cry. But the cumulus cloud once provoked becomes a scorned woman and as we know, even hell’s fury would, in contention look like a cute hamster eating a cashwetnut. We hear some scientific gibberish that makes as much sense as a high and drunk Courtney Love and then all of a sudden, Varun suddenly turns into Abhimanyu and gets into the Chakravyuh made of angry and hungry citizens who help him on his way up. This story is like Perarasu’s songs… While some people strongly believe that the lines are basically one double entendre after another, the rest believe that they don’t even have a single entendre (pardon my French) let alone a second punny meaning. The story ends on a tragic note where we are shown that nerds are not fit for survival and shall never get the girl and that they are always tools (he is Varun, not Arjun).

Verdict: Too much Negativity for my liking ;)

Two Old Men by BP

The protagonist reminds you of yourself. He is selfish, cowardly and is covered in misery. He is just recovering from a failed romance and meets this chick thieving parrot and then steals her from a perfect gentleman named like the most perfect and smartest and beautifulest gentleman (that, folks, is the most unkindest cut on English) you will ever come across. Somewhere between spreading communicable diseases, our hero is, for a change, caught between two men. One of them is a banker, symbolic of Capitalism and the other is an Army veteran, an obvious representation of Communism. They have contrasting views on everything and we have a neutral grocer, who is the Indian Economy (the best economy in the world, in the words of Dr. VJ na) in this tale of commerce, trade and floods. Eventually, communism falls to untreated tuberculosis and just a wee bit earlier, with Trump as the president, Capitalism’s fall is complete with all the overcrowding from the wall and all and that is something that the author has tried to convey. But with the author glorifying smoking and with Indian Economy outlasting both capitalism and communism and with absolutely no glam quotient, we are left wondering who the true A hole is… is it Jai or is it the truly divine yet humble creative genius that initially won the heart of Sravani…

Verdict: First it was the doc in a pink shirt… Now this… I am offended.

Vanilla Cappuccino by DI

This got real creepy… You have no idea… The lead is probably Norman Bates’ third cousin once removed. He meets this lady with an ulterior motive and thankfully the lady sees past the deception and cooks up a story that she has a boyfriend. I mean, imagine a guy who rescued you from the floods now looking at you and going yes-i-know-what-your-favourite-drink-is. That would, unless you are the lead in a campy, shitty horror flick, raise the alarm 7 out of 6 times, irrespective of gender or creed or religion. Sadly, this guy is the passive aggressive type and doesn’t even try to win her over once she utters the word ‘boyfriend’, mildly disappointed- yes; trying to win her- nope (see, Jai, this guy is bat shit crazy but still has manners…). Anyway, he isn’t too sad. He has a list of folks he saved during the floods with the hope of selling them either his story or himself and has successfully realized at least one of the dreams. Now this is an author you should try and emulate!

Verdict: Humbling experience

 PS: This is the 5th part of the “Anthology Review” Series. If you are an author mentioned here, kindly note I had a great time reading your story.

PPS: Part 1 can be read here

PPPS: Part 2 can be read here

PPPPS: Part 3 can be read here

PPPPS: Part 4 can be read here 

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