This had to be done... There aren't enough cynics around

Happy Birthday Captain!

Top 6 Captain Performances.

There was a time when captain had as much success as Rajni and Kamal. For his hard work in an era where people talk about some social cause on the side but secretly feel that the dark skin is something inferior and for his sheer audacity in the face of adversity, we take this opportunity to pay tribute to the true legend that he actually is. Special thanks to Pirabala Pathivar Gopal who inspired me to write this post. Of course, we did hope that we would find inspiration elsewhere, preferably a hot gal, but then life has been handing out only lemons and here is our lemonade.

6. Rajjiyam
Captain runs a parallel police department and uses girls to recruit folks the moment they enter Chennai. He has an idiot wife who is a doctor and thinks that the site of injection looks like an ostrich bite, a mute brother and an amnesic girl he hijacks from the railway station. Add to the mix a corrupt governor and Mansur Ali Khan, we have a classic. The movie showcases captain’s unbelievable stamina as he walks from Kanyakumari (cue, the background Valluvar statue) to Chennai (what else? the Rly Stn only). But boy is he modest as his supporters praise him and proclaim him as the heir to the Throne; he merely smiles, all the while surrounded by men in varied degrees of awkward nakedness. Detailed review is here
5. Vanchinathan

                Prakash Raj plays a corrupt Media Moghul much like that James Bond flick I don’t care to mention. He intends to bring the nation down on its news because that will somehow increase his newspaper circulation. Captain, who hates the page 3 content in the above said paper, brings the entire empire down despite the fact that Prakash is his sister’s brother in law. The movie also has Ramya Krishnan and Sakshi as a cop that tries for captain but isn’t fair enough, just like life. The movie also, to its credit has the greatest one liner in the movie history. Captain says to Prakash “We will meet… Will meet… meet… eet”. Goosebumps guaranteed.  
4. Devan

                Imagine you are friends with an actor whose body language is reminiscent of a 20000 tonne truck’s swaying movement when the brakes are applied suddenly… Imagine a story so crappy that even the presence of Karthik, Captain, Thalaivasal Vijay, Meena , Kausalya and Arun Pandiyan can’t salvage it. But in the truest spirit of friendship, captain plays an extended cameo is his erstwhile buddy A.P’s flick. In the screen time he has, captain saves A.P, solves the famine of Orissa and destroys 7 fully loaded submarines. Captain does it all with a smile and without an eeroini.
3. Dharmapuri

                The director is known for his deeply disturbing interpretation of commercial cinema. His entire repertoire of cinematic skills can be summarised from your interpretation of his song Kattu Kattu Keera Kattu from Thirupachi. You might think it as a double entendre or as a series of random words that make no sense whatsoever. But this movie begins with a bang as captain solves the issue of faulty armour leading to death of our defence forces by using an Archanai plate to deflect a bullet and kill the vile creature that shot him. His dances with Laxmi Rai are an added attraction.
2. Narasimha

                Now, where do I begin…?  Captain gives current the shock, ice the chill and pliers the pain. He hacks using a calculator, rejects Isha Koppikar, does Neo-esque movements to dodge bullets and doesn’t laugh at Nasser and Anand Raj as they strut around in bright pink and yellow shirts with red ties and green pants. He works against the clock as the top men from our armed forces have been kidnapped. But he goes about in a leisurely pace, dances in the Alps and still eventually succeeds. The take home message being, if a man with so much metaphorical burden on his back and literal burden on his legs and belly can have fun, who the hell are we puny beings to think that a break would affect our insignificant monotonous lives? A detailed analysis can be read here
1. 2016 TN state Assembly elections

                We half expected captain to align with DMK in 78 constituencies, with Makkal Nala Kootany in 78 and with BJP in the remaining constituencies. But he proved us all wrong. Agreed, even he couldn’t win a seat, but he won my left kidney with his own brand of politics and dousing the heat of the elections with his comic one liners like thooki adichiduven pathuko and enna wire vanthu kaila maatuthu to mention a few. But if there is something about this man, it is that a comeback is always just around the corner. We are waiting captain and a very happy birthday to you. Aungh.

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