This had to be done... There aren't enough cynics around


                2016 has been widely considered a horrible year. Let’s face it, it started with a gorilla’s death and ended with a guerilla’s death- the latter was something that the concerted efforts of 10 Presidents couldn’t achieve, but the mere election of a person whose first job application was for the POTUS accomplished! Personally, for me it was spectacular… I started the year as a single, surgical resident with a blog and now I am a single surgeon who is a “published” ‘author’. We shall save the bragging for another post and shall now look back into the past to predict the future because, my friends, the future is where our future lies (that’s a nod, Mr. Ed Wood).

                Our predictions begin right on the day when out PM shifted the focus from counting votes to counting notes. In the aftermath of this revolution, which had the intention of a surgeon going on to tackle a cancerous growth in the pancreas that is borderline resectable and the preparation of a Gynecologist tackling an iatrogenic rent in the rectum while removing the uterus through the billy bush, we have seen the rise of the socialist. We had folks angrily ask why people were complaining about standing in the queues while there were men with guns guarding walls and that we couldn’t handle the truth. We were impressed right until the moment a socialist revolutionary was arrested with a butt load of notes with the number 2000 etched. Perhaps 2k always means trouble.

                Then we had the court instill nationalism in us by making us stand to the national anthem before the movies begin. See, here is my problem, the last time a bunch of folks were force fed Nationalism and Socialism, the outcome wasn’t particularly exhilarating. We lost a third of the living population. With this in the mind, we cross over to the other side of the Atlantic. A few years into the reign, all ‘non Americans’ (read non Caucasian) are shunted off into Mars and the average American realizes that not only does he not want to do the work that geeky Indian did, but is now wondering why the F that dude worked all weekends for so little. And why do you need a degree for that entry level job? I didn’t ask for his qualification. Naturally production suffers and the World collapses.

                Using this opportunity, something for which that humanoid alien race was waiting all these millennia, the <insertbadasssoundingnameforthealienspecies> invade US. Not us but the USA because after seeing all the movies over these years, that is where the aliens would hit. Given how the world would be at war, siding with either the Right or Left leaning neighbors in Asia, only Russia has any money to fund the war, all humans are forced to work in Siberia as, wait for it, miners. To keep us all amused, we resort to the stuff read by the adults when they were kids. The literature of the noughties and the teenage of the newest millennia ensure we have an arena with no rules where people fight to kill. This is the premise of Unreal Tournament.

                UT is set in the not so distant future where humanity has actually fought a war with an alien species that, as you would expect attacks the USA. Then we ‘independence day’ (the original, not the awful sequel) the crap out of them and from the remains arises this mining company. Apart from funding the war, it uses the ‘Tournament’ as people fight each other to death, to keep the working classes entertained. Also, it enables R. Crowe to mouth some epic lines like “My name is Maximus Decimus Merdius…” Either way, the robots eventually take over, paving way for either Terminator or the Matrix.

                This passage has exactly six hundred and sixty six words… What do you think? Coincidence…? I really don’t think so, because, where others see a coincidence, I see a consequence. Few filler words to reach count…


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