This had to be done... There aren't enough cynics around

Bhairhavhaah- Review

                The movie begins with a nod to the LGBT community. We see two lovers who work for a bank as debt collectors shower each other with love and make up and lipstick but are, due to the pressures of the society, looking for girls- that love making love to girls and are under similar social pressure- to marry. Thankfully, a first year medico with a mouth that seems to have a mind of its own, who joined a horrible medical college that teaches ‘Physiology of Reproduction’ with the slide of the internal architecture of the cell, has daddy issues.  Also I am offended because never in the history of mankind has a girl that looks like (even) Keerthy Suresh has set foot in… Hang on… It is a private college?  I digress. Anyway, a blood transfusion/ sexual offence gone wrong later, we have a girl from Kerala killed and Keerthy, also from the same state, but with a Tamil accent nobody in the universe speaks, wants justice.

                An earnest Daniel Balaji shows so much promise as they guy who even defeats the super hero that Vijay is. But sadly, he gets killed. The villain is Jagapathy Babu who, after being tricked by the Income Tax department in Kathi Sandai, you would expect to be careful. But no. Armed with a horrible accent and dumber henchmen, he lunges around like a giant container lorry on national highways. The laughing gas plays a role in the movie and as with the rest of the movie, its sequence is also stupid becaue that isn’t entirely how it works and the villain's laughter was perhaps at the shoddy script. Also Keerthy stole that drug from the hospital and she should rightly be suspended because she probably wanted to use it as a rave drug. Finally, the dumbest climax in humanity’s history unfolds as Jags is killed by commandos because he wanted to assassinate the PM. All by himself. From his building. And the cops buy it. I think if Vijay had waved his wig in front of Jags, he would have committed suicide.

                We could only believe that The God of Wigs has placed a curse on Vijay. If it was Amy that sported the most stupid looking wig in Theri, here, the hero himself has fallen for the curse. With that weird brown thing on his head, there is no way you can take him seriously. Especially when he delivers a powerful monologue in the court... Agreed, that was one of the ‘most dumbest’ speeches ever given in a court- one of law or even a food court, but still, Vijay, for once seemed invested in the proceedings. For most of the time, he shrugs his shoulders and jogs while delivering lines with an accent that makes you want to put your head (the ears, particularly) inside your bum, but are actually scared that your head might come out through your mouth and if so, you would be subjected to more of this agony.

                As I spent the last 150 minutes looking for redeeming features, I was disappointed that there weren’t any. The music is bad. Keerthy dances like a toddler on cocaine. The plot is as interesting as watching a cow evacuate itself in a field. The flashback might have worked had it not been clichéd like the word cliché. The songs were painful to sit through and when you play the same Varlam Vaa every thirty sixth second, it starts annoying you. There are characters that could have been removed and the story wouldn’t be affected, like Motta Rajendiran, Sriman, that absolutely gorgeous lady that plays Keerthy’s sister, the dude that plays her husband, Daniel Balaji, Thambi Ramaiah, Keerthy’s grand dad, Jagapathy and of course Vijay.

                Life doesn’t give you second chances. But after the fiasco of the outlandish Azhagya Tamzh Magan, that seemed amateurish and offended our senses (except the auditory pathway, ARR was awesome), the director had a chance to redeem himself. What he has managed to do, however, is make ATM look like a masterpiece. Perhaps that was his goal all along. If so, he has succeeded. But what about Vijay…? He will have to wait longer and have a deep thought about his choice of scripts. Last year, it was reported that Vijay was the most searched actor and the search for Vijay, the actor, still continues. Here is hoping the spelling change works wonders.

No comments: