This had to be done... There aren't enough cynics around

AAA-An Analysis

If I had a penny for every time someone asked me why I was risking my life by watching the classic movie, Anbanavan, Asarathavan, Adangathavan, I would have made $2, which is exactly $2 more than how much I have made through my blog. So me and my friend head out to the theater playing AAA, the guy at the checking counter goes like, “Here are the two idiots who booked the Balcony”. Their manager came in and said that since nobody else had booked balcony tickets, we had to sit in the lower tier and if I were the most followed dude on quora, I would have written a heartwarming answer on how Modi ji was responsible for the ‘elitist’ dude mingling with the common man. The movie, to sum up, is as big a fiasco as the NDA regime. You say beef ban, I say creepy Old man loves an unsuspecting girl… You say botched up demonetization, I say nonsensical screenplay… You say Hindi imposition, I say Kasthuri… you say mixture eating puppet regime; we do have a mixture eater here.

Kasthuri, in her manliest role till date, almost has near naked matter with a creepy dude and utters absolutely disgraceful lines and sports a weird wig. STR wants to become Superstar, but given his luck with wigs in the movie, I think he is more in line to become the “Ilaya Thalabathy”. Chronologically, Madura Michael (an obvious reference to Corleone, the Godfather or Rayappan, the producer- your guess) is a knife-for-hire who is pretty daft and is in love with an absolutely stunningly beautiful Shriya who wants every eeroini romancing a rowdy wants. She wants him to give up his bad ways. In the meantime, YG Mahendra, a closeted gay guy, goes around Frenching folks, including STR which is probably why STR stabs him in the back.

Then STR is arrested and escapes without divorcing Shriya who gets into another marriage without realizing that it is null given her earlier marriage (in the register office, no less) to Michael. He takes a leaf out of Velu Bhai, Basha Bhai, Raju Bhai, Janaa Bhai and Vishwa Bhai and decides to go to Bombay to become a don. But given Bombay’s previous experience with Tamil folks becoming Bhais, he is not allowed to enter Bombay. He goes west and becomes Ashwin Mama and then Thatha and comes back to India. We have had a romance between an older man and a younger woman handled before. But this movie tries to out crass its director’s previous outing. In what could be described as a creep-fest on at least 69 levels, Ashwin Thatha looks to win over Tams. He is encouraged by his old friends who are equally obnoxious.

Tams is so white that she is soooo white. She thinks she is friends with an old man. The old man not only lusts after her, even though VTV Ganesh’s experiments prove otherwise- which by the way, are brain numbingly dumb, but is also planning on doing the old switcharoo with her actual boyfriend. Could they have made it less creepy? Sure. Make Tams an old lady and have her lusting after a young STR (who is actually 60, but looks 30 because of make-up). Not only would that premise be lauded by critics and feminists alike, but that movie would have definitely had more than 7 guys watching it barely a week after release. It looks as if STR lost interest in the movie half way through and the director stitched together whatever they had shot and presented it to us. But seriously, what were they thinking? And WTF was I thinking?

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